After years and years of therapy, I have gotten pretty good at setting boundaries with almost everyone in my life. My weakest area, by far, is my own children. I'm a softie, and it is very difficult for me to let my kids be unhappy and not immediately try to resolve it.
That instinct comes from something real, because connection with my children is one of my true strengths and I lean into it on purpose, but it can tip over into permissiveness pretty easily. And since I work from home, the line between when I'm mom and when I'm working has stayed blurry for years, which means I have been frustrated with my kids for interrupting me when I was never clear or consistent with them in the first place about when they could and could not come in.
This is the third episode in my back-to-school check-in series for moms, six short episodes walking you through the six principles of self-assured motherhood, each one with a concrete way to assess how you're actually doing.
Today's principle is Balance Your Boundaries, and because boundaries have become such a buzzword, I want to take us back to a simple definition of what they are and what they are not. Boundaries are what you will do to honor your needs, not what you expect other people to do. Which means the whole thing gets a lot simpler, because it stops depending on anyone else cooperating.
In this episode, you'll hear:
💜 A recording I made by accident that I decided to play for you, even though it is not my finest moment as a mom
💜 The image a counselor gave me years ago that I come back to every single time I feel guilty about holding a limit
💜 The sign I'm putting on my office door to help me, and what I'll do the first time on of my kids ignores it
Being unboundaried can feel like the loving choice, but it so rarely is. I hope this school year is the one where your boundaries start to feel like an act of love, because that is exactly what they are.
For full show notes, including takeaways, click here.
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Announcements:
Want to know how you're really doing across all six principles of self-assured motherhood? Take the free interactive quiz at 3in30podcast.com/quiz. You'll get a clear picture of where you're thriving and where you could use more support, and you'll be added to the info list for my Self-Assured Motherhood program, which opens for enrollment on September 14th with a special discount for quiz-takers.
Related Episodes:
445: How to Set Boundaries without Damaging Relationships // Rachel on Happy Mom Summit
437: Boundaries and Emotional Resilience in Motherhood // Dr. Jen Riday
251: How to Set Boundaries with your Children // Stacey Collins
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