Bottled water’s luxury boom is all about taste, branding, and storytelling—not science. From $100+ glacial sips to volcanic springs, water sommeliers are decoding mineral profiles and mouthfeel like wine experts, but the real value? Mostly marketing. Minerals may tweak flavor and offer tiny nutritional boosts, but “alkaline” or “rich in minerals” doesn’t mean healthier. Your body handles pH just fine. And yes, even fancy glass bottles hide microplastics—often from caps. It’s a sip of style, not science.

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