Episode 2 — Mistake #1: Training Before Bonding — Be the Squirrel
What if the biggest mistake you’re making with your dog happens before you ever say “sit,” “stay,” or “come”?
In Episode 2 of 101 Mistakes Humans Make to Mess Up Their Dogs, I’m starting exactly where my book starts—with what I believe is the foundation of great dog training:
Relationship before obedience. Bond before commands.
Too many people bring home a dog and immediately start asking for things. Sit. Down. Stay. Come. Don’t jump. Stop barking. Leave it. Get off. Be good.
But before asking what your dog can do for you, ask yourself a much more important question:
Why should my dog want to be with me?
I call this concept “Be the Squirrel.”
Think about what happens when your dog sees a squirrel. Their ears go up. Their eyes lock on. Their body comes alive. Suddenly, everything about that squirrel matters.
Now imagine your dog feeling that way about you.
And yes—sometimes “Be the Squirrel” really does mean acting like one. Move. Run. Change direction. Get animated. Invite your dog to chase you. Become unpredictable, playful and exciting.
But being the squirrel is bigger than that. It means learning what your individual dog values and becoming relevant to their world. Maybe it’s movement. Maybe it’s tug, food, a ball, sniffing, hiking, searching, swimming or simply being together.
The goal is the same:
Become someone your dog chooses.
That is where extraordinary training begins.
In this episode, I explain why a dog who won’t come when called, won’t pay attention, or seems more interested in everything around them may not have an “obedience problem” at all. We may have started demanding obedience before creating engagement.
Without a relationship, commands are just words.
Simply loving your dog doesn’t automatically mean you have the kind of bond that creates reliable behavior. Of course you love your dog. But does your dog seek engagement with you? Does your dog check in with you? When given freedom, does your dog still choose you? Are you part of the fun—or are you usually the person who ends it?
That distinction matters.
Your job is to learn your dog.
Watch them. Play with them. Discover what makes their eyes light up. Listen to what they communicate without words. Stop assuming every dog should be motivated by the same thing.
Training itself can become bonding—but only when it’s built on play, trust, clarity, motivation and joy. Great training creates a dog who works with you because they want to, not simply because they have to.
Eventually, something remarkable happens:
The relationship itself becomes rewarding.
“Come” becomes an opportunity to race toward their favorite person.
“Stay” becomes anticipation before exploding into a game.
“Sit” becomes the doorway to freedom, adventure, food, toys, movement or play.
Your dog discovers that listening to you doesn’t make good things disappear—you are the gateway to good things.
And that changes everything.
Before worrying about perfect obedience, become important to your dog. Run together. Play together. Explore together. Put down the phone. Get on the floor. Be ridiculous. Figure out what makes your dog come alive.
Because I don’t want a dog who simply obeys me.
I want a dog who chooses me.
That is the difference between controlling a dog and building a partnership.
Throughout this series, I’ll walk through all 101 mistakes from my book and show you not only what humans commonly get wrong, but what to do differently.
But everything starts here.
Before the leash.
Before the commands.
Before the corrections.
Before perfect obedience.
Build the relationship.
Before you worry about getting your dog to listen to you, ask yourself whether you’ve given your dog a reason to choose you.
Listen to Episode 2 and learn how to become your dog’s squirrel. 🐿️🐾
101 Mistakes Humans Make to Mess Up Their Dogs
by Dina Zaphiris
