Morning Announcements
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Thursday, August 13th, 2026 - Karoline Leavitt Quits, Navy Sailors Are Jumping Overboard, Josh Kushner & Bob Iger Buy The Lakers

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Today's Headlines: Karoline Leavitt is leaving her job as White House Press Secretary at the end of August, officially to spend more time with her family, though the timing — coming weeks after her boss used the press corps as an Iran assassination decoy — raises some questions. On the never-ending reflecting pool drama, Jeanine Pirro convened a rare special grand jury to investigate the reflecting pool vandalism case, even after admitting there's no case against the former Olympian they arrested. Meanwhile, cyberattacks have hit water systems in 12 states over the past few years, with 30 Minnesota systems targeted last month alone, and what remains of US cyber intelligence confirmed Iran did it — but Trump is blaming Tim Walz, because of course he is. In other news, multiple US Navy sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln have attempted to jump overboard during a record 250-consecutive-day deployment with severe shortages of soap, toothpaste, hot water, food, and toilet paper, and Pete Hegseth — who built himself a personal salon at the Pentagon — called their accounts "fake news." Josh Kushner and Bob Iger are buying the Los Angeles Lakers for a record $12.5 billion, pending NBA board approval, from an insurance billionaire currently under investigation, so something is sus about this one. In primary results, DSA candidate Francesca Hong lost the Wisconsin governor's Democratic primary to David Crowley — who had dropped out and then re-entered after Tony Evers panicked — Mike Lindell lost the Minnesota Republican governor primary and is claiming voter fraud, and Lindsey Graham's sister Darlindsey fell short of 50% in South Carolina heading to a runoff against congressman Ralph Norman on August 25th.

Resources/Articles mentioned:

Axios: Karoline Leavitt stepping down as White House press secretary

ESPN: Sources: Josh Kushner, Bob Iger to buy Lakers for $12.5B

NYT: University of Michigan Will Ease Up on Grades for Student Mental Health

WaPo: Pirro, in rare move, convenes special grand jury in Washington

WaPo: Water systems are ripe for cyberattacks, experts warn after suspected Iranian hacks

The Guardian: USS Abraham Lincoln sailors tried to jump overboard amid extended deployment – reports | US military

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